woh pal hi kuch khas tha, jab unse nazrein milein
woh pal hi kuch khas tha, jab unse mulakat hui
woh pal hi kuch khas tha jab unse ikraar hua
woh pal hi kuch khas tha, jab unka inkaar hua
woh pal khas ban jata hai, jab unki yaad aati hai
woh pal khas ban jata hai, jab uski baat dil ka taar ched jati hai
zindagi mein abhi bhi intezar hai unka , unka saath meri zindagi khas bana jata hai......
agar dil ka dard bardaasht ke paar na hota
agar hathon mein kagaz kalam na hota
agar unhone yun thukraya na hota
sach kehta hun doston, tumhara dost aaj shayar na hota.....
jab kabhi dil mein unka khayal aata hai
aankhon mein unka chehra utar jata hai
tab sajti hai dil mein yadoon ke mehfil
aur har sama rangeen ban jata hai
ek pal mein yeh dil mera na raha
unki har aada mein kuch aisi baat thi
agar maarna hi tha to mud kar dekh liya hota
yun muskurane ki kya zaroorat thi
dil ki gehrayion mein surat hai uski
meri har saans mein mehak hai uski
naam poochne par ek hi jawab aayega doston
meri dil to zakhm dena fitrat hai jiski.......
As usual comments are invited......
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
4 comments:
Good....u r learning by writing more and more....a couple of suggestions though.....
u shud post the message so that it has a flow.....like the mood shud be from happy to gloomy.....it shudnt be gloomy then happy and then again gloomy....this makes the "shayari" attractive....
I didnt like the 1st one....it was stretched.....
This is more of a masti funda.....do write the name of the girl for whom u r posting blogs.....
yes...agreed...ur improving...
the 2nd para is a give away...
i wont ask the name..thats somethng personal....but i hope she's reading this..
keep writing...
No ur not improving i dont agree with them. except the last one all four are on same concept ur talking abt same thing from different perspectives.
In ur first posting only 2nd and 3rd are on same concept but that is justified coz in 2nd ur talking abt future and in 3rd ur talking abt past and according to flow its look good there.
Bhai upar wala sab to bas jo laga bol diya dost hone ke naate yahi kahoonga plz, plz, plz dont write just for the sake of writing. Dimag se jabardasti soch ke us soch ko shabdon mein convert mat karo, lets wait dil ko feel karne do phir un feelings ko shabdon mein convert karo tab dekho maza.
aur yaar shobhit woh nahi padh rahi hai yaar thats the tragedy aur haan nimish first wala jo likha hai na waison ke pahle heading daal de like do kaatyen ya chand linen kyun ki woh bakiyon se diff hain.
The best part of all these lines is lack of a symphony. Good work... poetry of all sorts should be free from rules of any sorts and this is my definition of the poetry.
You are growing line by line and may the best from you should become best from all the best poets...
Good luck...
Post a Comment